- Take a step back – to gain a different view of the situation.
- Your children will take much more notice of what ‘you do’ than what you tell them ‘to do’.
- Clearly spell out which behaviours are acceptable and which behaviours are unacceptable. Establish clear boundaries (that have been agreed upon) for unacceptable behaviour.
- Remember that learning from experiences, mistakes and successes are an essential part of a child’s journey.
- Be a good role model.
- Spend time with your children.
- Children learn about themselves through their relationships with other people, particularly their parents. It is important that they explore, relax, challenge themselves and have fun with their parents.
- Be clear with your children about what you expect of them.
- Notice what is going well.
- Acknowledge and praise your child for respectful and ‘good behaviour’.
- Meaning behind the behaviour.
- Take a moment to understand what your child is ‘really’ trying to say or tell you. Use these times as opportunities to teach your child to say how they feel and ask for what they need.
- Look after yourself.
As a parent there is little time for yourself, if you are not able to look after yourself with rest, nutrition, enjoyable activities and rewarding relationships you will not be able to offer the best of yourself to your children.
My approach assumes that the child is affected by what is happening in the family, and the family is affected by the child’s behaviour.
- understand the different elements of communication and the importance of effective listening
- rebuild relationships
- gain a greater understanding of the importance of discipline and effective ways to use discipline in the parenting role
- increase awareness of the concept that behaviour operates in cycles
- identify and manage emotions more effectively
- build confidence and resilience
- develop coping strategies and tools